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Is Your Government Resume Too Wordy?


Are you discovering it tough to sum up your worth proposition in a two or three-page govt resume? Along with annoying employers, a too-long resume can shortly lose its efficiency and dilute your model message—leaving decision-makers confused about why they need to rent you for a management position.

Listed below are some tip-offs you’ve gotten a too-wordy resume that fails to tell apart your abilities:

  • Your bullet-point sentences are longer than 2 or 3 strains, making them practically unimaginable to scan shortly
  • You’ve began many phrases or sentences with the identical phrase, which weakens your message
  • Your efficiency outcomes are buried all the way in which on the finish of every sentence, and are due to this fact laborious to search out, with minimal model influence
  • You’ve added too many adjectives and adverbs, with each achievement famous as “excellent,” “distinctive,” and worst of all, “profitable.” (Employers actually hope that is the case!)

If any of those apply to your govt resume, it’s simple to trim extra phrases with these three strategies that drive your level house shortly:

1. Skip Verbs For Elevated Impression

As a branded advertising and marketing doc, an govt resume can use revolutionary conventions, reminiscent of sentence fragments that take away the verbs. Think about this instance of a sentence transformation:


Led large-scale operations restructuring and growth of name facilities and firm amenities, leading to a 63% revenue enhance in simply three years and the area’s lowest personnel prices.


63% revenue enhance in 3 years plus lowest per-employee bills with enterprise-level operations restructuring and growth.

Right here, the unique sentence was condensed by 37%—nevertheless it nonetheless conveys the identical that means. Now, think about what slicing greater than a 3rd of the muddle may do for the readability of your govt resume! To make use of this system, below every job you’ve got held, make an inventory of front-loaded outcomes sentences like these the place you quantify your work expertise and accomplishments. You will impress employers and maintain their consideration!

2. Take Out That Lengthy, Winding Abstract Paragraph

Man edits his executive resume


There’s no must bore your reader with a look-alike resume abstract or profile that states the apparent, reminiscent of:

Devoted workforce participant with confirmed management, expertise utilization, and monetary experience. Expert in finishing tasks and speaking in any respect company ranges, with glorious team-building and cross-functional collaboration abilities.

Don’t waste this key space of resume actual property with an outline that fails to inform a narrative. As an alternative, lower down the amount of phrases whereas giving a snapshot of name worth that pulls in some achievement metrics. Right here’s an instance culled from a management resume for a candidate shifting up the ladder to a CTO position:

VP of expertise attaining 99% over-goal efficiency by exceeding SLA necessities by means of strategic planning, value containment, and contract negotiations.

Be aware the metrics and particular job title blended into the abstract—with a message that guarantees worth and efficiency.

3. Be taught To Write A Branding Headline

Hiring manager reviews an executive resume


A commerce secret amongst skilled and govt resume writers, the headline is definitely a tagline that means that you can condense extra information into a good area. The most effective half? Your resume can use a couple of headline to convey your strongest factors.

Listed below are some examples of headlines that encapsulate worth and place job hunters for a selected position:

  • Senior pharmaceutical govt behind accelerated, multibillion-dollar product launches
  • VP of gross sales driving world development for new-media advertising and marketing firm attaining worldwide recognition
  • Funding skilled selling monetary well being by means of funding & capital planning

A private branding assertion can shortly give employers the “massive image” of your achievements, with out taking over valuable area in your govt resume. To create this assertion, mix the place you search with a serious achievement out of your profession, displaying the outcomes of your work or the method that you simply use.

As you proceed to regulate your govt resume and tighten the language, make sure to present it to colleagues and others accustomed to your work. You’ll most likely discover, even with extra phrases eliminated, it nonetheless conveys your model message—and quicker besides.

If you would like extra assist together with your govt job search, join J.T. O’Donnell’s FREE coaching “4-Step Course of For Creating Your Government Presence On-line.” In simply three hours, you’ll discover ways to write an efficient resume and construct your govt presence so you’ll find one of the best job alternatives!

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