It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” query. A reader writes:
I really feel like I’m at a little bit of a crossroads. I used to like studying your website as a result of I actually recognized with the letter writers aiming to enhance their careers and furthering their skilled progress. That’s at all times been me: self-starting and passionate and devoted. It didn’t harm that my work was attention-grabbing, significant, and diverse.
However recently, work has misplaced most of its that means to me – to such a level that I’ve fully misplaced my drive. After a interval of freelancing, I’m interviewing for a job I’ve bought a extremely good likelihood of getting (I’ve a really slender specialty and that is precisely it). And I don’t need the job.
A little bit of background: I’ve been very, very pushed for the reason that age of twenty (assume doing two full-time grasp’s levels on the identical time mixed with a part-time job, and writing six printed novels in 4 years whereas working greater than full-time). I’ve been bold, and I’ve at all times been keen to seek out new challenges and meet new objectives. And now I immediately … don’t really feel that method in any respect. Simply serious about the “dream job” makes me barely sick.
To make it clear, I’m neither depressed nor burned out (I’ve been each, and this isn’t it). Covid might have one thing to do with it; it very a lot enhanced the truth that whereas I’ve developed my profession, I’ve not been good at sustaining relationships with family and friends. I’m additionally the right age for a midlife disaster – however I don’t really feel like I’m in a disaster; I merely don’t really feel keen about my work. If my work was a romantic relationship, then it was a passionate luuuve affair, and now we’re merely roommates nodding politely to one another.
To ”complicate” issues, I dwell in a kind of socialist hellholes. In different phrases, I’ve wonderful unemployment insurance coverage, free well being care, and so forth. Mixed with a wholesome financial savings account, which means I’ve no monetary incentive to discover a job tomorrow – and even subsequent month. I’ve additionally bought a few recurring attention-grabbing freelance jobs to look ahead to, and I’m itching to journey once more. I additionally appear to have a comparatively straightforward time discovering jobs.
I’m not even fairly certain what my query is. Or moderately, I feel I’ve two: The primary one is: Are you actually allowed to show down a job that on paper is totally excellent and would match completely into your life – merely since you don’t really feel like taking it? I grew up poor; all the pieces inside me screams that I ought to select monetary safety over one thing as flimsy as my emotions.
The opposite query is maybe largely for the readers: How do you deal with such a radical change in your self-image – and in your thought of “the nice life”? Particularly in a society which focuses a lot on work. I really feel like an alien bodysnatched my former bold self, and I do not know what to do with the present model of me.
I’ll reply the primary one: Sure, you’re allowed to show down a seemingly excellent job simply since you don’t wish to take it. You need to take into account what that may imply for the remainder of your life (funds, profession development, and so on.) however you’re allowed to make any determination you need; it’s as much as you. And in your case, you appear to have plenty of sound causes for selecting to not take it.
Let’s throw the second query — about methods to deal with a radical change in your self-image and what you need from life — to readers to share ideas on within the feedback.